[Just a note: The scripture pictured above is Acts 20:24. Also, upon reading this, Ric asked me for whom I am writing. Perhaps I wrote this blog for myself, just as years ago God challenged me with Galations 1:10: “Am I now seeking the favor of men or of God?” and inspired my song “Face to Face.”]

In “Rivers of Living Water” I dealt with the second part of the courtroom swearing-in process: “the whole Truth.” Only one part remains: “Nothing but the truth.” This has seemed difficult to present in a blog, so I am approaching it from the angle of the “counterpoint” — “Anything but the Truth.”

Recently I found myself reticent to write anything for fear I might repeat what happened several years ago. A very dear friend from childhood had lost her only child to suicide and she was inconsolable. Coming to Virginia for business, she had visited us for a few days; and as she poured out her grief, I tried to be quietly supportive. However, when I saw firsthand how hopeless she was, I shared how God had walked with me through deep grief and brought healing to my heart. Several weeks later I got a letter from her accusing me of “cramming your faith down my throat.”

For many years I have tried to carefully stay within the boundaries that she and others have set up for myself and other people of faith, while still being sensitive to how the Holy Spirit is leading. I understand now that she wanted me to “leave my faith out of any and all conversation.” Why? It is, after all, my story–my reality. Who is making these rules determining what may or may not be spoken? Why does it seem certain beliefs and opinions –particularly those that are Biblically based — are disallowed? I wonder what my grandparents would have thought about this 21st century…the “rules” seem to be changing every day; these are indeed shifting sands.

“The LORD is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my God, my firm Strength in whom I trust and take refuge, my Shield,…. my High Tower.” Psalm 18

In 2019 I attended a Writer’s Conference in beautiful Burnsville, NC. A highlight was a 3-hour workshop on “Creative Non-Fiction,” where the enthusiastic teacher shared about her successful publication in which she traveled around the country gathering special recipes from various regions. She gave us some great ideas and then asked the 15 people in the room to share what each of us was hoping to write. I immediately decided not to share; but as my turn approached, I changed my mind: “I want to write something to help women heal from the trauma, regret and grief from abortions: particularly those into which they felt coerced.” I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth when a woman yelled out aggressively: “What about the other women?!?” I just looked at her and said “Perhaps you did not understand me….”

Her outburst actually opened the door for me to expand on how I have met and worked with hundreds of women who have deep scars from abortion, both emotional and physical. Most of these women have suffered alone and in silence; their unresolved grief has stolen their joy, caused problems in their relationships, sometimes resulted in infertility due to scar tissue, and in some cases has led to drug and alcohol abuse and suicidal thoughts,…. (I turned to the friend I had invited to come with me and introduced her as one of these women.) Of course, the woman who had challenged me could not reasonably continue to “object” to my simply sharing what I wanted to write, but her face reflected barely concealed rage. It was clear she wanted my voice to be silenced. Aren’t women who have experienced abortion and its aftermath uniquely qualified to speak? How is this silencing justified? How can this be happening?

I am convinced that a portion of the answer to this is found in 2 Corinthians 2:14-16: “Thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are the fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing: to the latter an aroma of death to death [a fatal offensive odor] and to the other an aroma of life to life [a vital fragrance, living and fresh.]” Is it possible the reactions of my childhood friend and the woman in my class were really symptomatic of a battle raging within them?

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.  He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:34-39). Jesus’s sWord cuts deep.

God has reminded me of something: most unbelievers do not understand that every true believer has experienced the deep pain of the Sword piercing through our darkness, surgically and without anesthetic cutting out the cancer of sin, and amputating relationships. After the “spiritual surgery” the new Christians have to try to navigate their remaining relationships. (When Ric became a Christian in his mid- twenties he lost most of his friends.) It is a fine line to walk, and it is no wonder we struggle to know if, when, and how to speak. It is very hard to respond to people like my childhood friend. My typical response through the years in many scenarios was to try to be quiet, “sparing” people the Truth which cuts into carefully constructed walls of resistance. Now I begin to wonder if I need to pray: “God, forgive me for my silence.” Through the decades I have not only avoided sharing things that I discern others do not want to hear, but many times I have avoided my time with God to avoid the piercing I know will happen in my own heart.

“So see to it that you do not reject Him or refuse to listen to and heed Him Who is speaking…our God is a refiner’s fire.” Heb. 12

As I have struggled with this blog, I have seen a connection I had not seen before (although it now seems very obvious): the “sword” that He speaks about in Matthew 10 is the two edged “sword” from Hebrews 4: “For the Word that God speaks is alive…; it is sharper than any 2-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of soul & spirit…” Again Jesus talks about His sword dividing. He cuts until what is left is “Nothing but the Truth.”

His Word is “ALIVE!” God speaks through the prophet Isaiah: “So shall My Word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11 The Word is alive; the only variables are whether or not I believe it, receive it, speak it. What is dawning on me is that I am not responsible for whether or not His words that I speak are accepted or rejected; God has said that His Words WILL accomplish that for which HE sent them.

As the accusations and judgements are flying fast and furious in these days, an inexplicable joy is growing in me. God is setting me free! In the last few weeks I have been hearing the words in my Spirit (from the classic wedding vows): “Keep you only unto Him.” My freedom is in this: I am free to answer only to Him: always remembering what He spoke through Paul: “If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12;18,19b. Yet how many times have I kept silent to “keep the peace?” Is this what Paul was talking about? If anyone cares to take the time, the answer to this is quickly found: just read the epistles. When Paul says “If possible...” what is he meaning? (These are the same words that challenged Ric and I in the first place and which led to these blogs.: “that will, deceive, if possible, even the elect“).

Again, only God can lead us into all Truth by His Spirit of Truth Who indwells us. Only He can guide us how and when to speak the Truth.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but Love covers a multitude of sins.” Proverbs 10:12